By John D. Harden, Staff Writer

Published Oct. 8, 2014

Have you ever been on campus and noticed someone you just wish wasn’t there, or at least wasn’t acting the way they were?

Honestly, we all have.  And a lot of the time, the person responsible for creating that inner-cringe is most likely a hipster.

So let’s just say it.  It’s not cool to be a hipster.

It wasn’t cool in the 1990s, and it certainly shouldn’t hold any more rapport with the 2014 crowd.

The graphic T-sporting gaggle of exuberant nonconformists can be spotted all over college campuses these days, and our own school is no exception to this thriving population of hipsters.

This simpering adolescent attitude that accompanies most, if not all, of these hipsters makes me very uncomfortable.

Projecting your insecurities by dyeing your hair and wearing high tops doesn’t necessarily spark the same feelings as it did in middle school, chief.

So why would you want to undermine the educational opportunities that have been handed to you by dressing and acting in such an oddly hip way?

The only way to ensure a professional and serious education is to not dress or act in what a small segment of the population considers hip.

Simply put, people will treat you with respect if you act as if you deserve it, rather than half-heartedly begging for it.

Of course, this kind of advice is typically met with excuses, like: “But I’m going to school for photography!”

If this is the case, then you have even less of an excuse to dress like an unprofessional douche.

Wearing sleeveless band T’s displaying all your tattoos – paid for all at once by the scraped-together cash you accumulated while working at McDonald’s – and ornate, flat-brimmed hats really make you look like you don’t know what you’re doing and you need somebody to help you, more than anything else.

You probably have deep, overwrought obsessions with obscure things seemingly just to be different – or you’re just using it as an escape from real-life decision-making.

Do you really collect limited-edition Arcade Fire vinyl records and mount them on your living room walls?

Not to mention that there really are people who still argue that they like that “vinyl sound”, when they have less expensive, better digital options online.

It is apparent to me that the choice of being a hipster is just that: it’s a choice.

There’s a difference between trying to look like an athlete, a scholar, or a douchebag.

It is much easier to convey your insecurities through fashion and uninformed ideologies than to realistically face them by adapting to your surroundings via social interaction and hard work.

Now I’m not a psychic, but I think I can safely assume that the majority of people who walk around exhibiting these attributes do not hold dear the attributes that I mentioned before, including an understanding that their education is a privilege.

How many of these people that I’ve described could you imagine posting an opinionated Facebook status or a self-indulging Instagram post far too many times a day? Wouldn’t you like them to stop?

I urge all self-proclaimed hipsters to please reconsider that Radiohead vinyl or that Shins quote tattoo, and instead put that money towards your next month’s rent.

My main argument against the “hipster” style is that you’ve come here to go to school, not to put on fashion show. Your arm bands, band T’s, bright Nikes and trust funds won’t help you in the long run – except of course the money you’re constantly being handed by unwitting parents.

My hope is that any hipsters reading their school paper to be ironic will take heed of my lessons and tuck in that shirt, change those skinny jeans, and burn that fedora that everyone says makes you looks ‘way rad’.