By Taylor Smith, Staff Writer

Published in print Jan. 28, 2015

The other day I was traversing around campus when I came to a small playground with children.  I stopped and watched the little runts as they ran around enjoying the naiveté of youth.  The more I watched the little kids the more envious I became of them.  It made me wish I could be a child again; not having to deal with the troubles and anxieties of being an adult.  So, I thought to myself, “What’s stopping me from doing what they’re doing?”  A small fence at least, but I easily climbed over the obstacle and proceeded to the child sized swing set. 

As I approached the swing a couple of the children walked towards me, walked is probably the wrong word.  These children, toddlers to be more accurate, are still in the early stages of walking so I would say they waddled towards me.  It was quite adorable until they came to me with looks of anger on their faces.  Then, to my surprise, one of them said “What are you doing?”  “I’m reliving my childhood you little bastards, now scram.”  They looked at one another and the child who initially spoke to me, I think his name was Timmy, nodded to his friend who grabbed a plastic baseball bat.  The kid started to beat me, violently, with the bat until I had fallen out of the swing.  I thought to defend myself, but he was just a child.  I managed to get back up and then said to the toddlers, “What’s wrong with you?”  The first kid stared intently at me and then waddled two steps towards me.  He continued to glare and then said in a low, gruff voice, “Stay out of my territory.”  Then one of the caretakers came around, saw me and said something about me not being allowed to be there and the police may be called.  Frightened and confused I shouted “I’m not a pedophile!” and then jumped the small fence.

As I walked back from the encounter I reflected on how unfair it is for students like myself to not have access to enjoy all aspects of the campus.  After all, I’m paying thousands of dollars to be here, shouldn’t I be able go on the slide that is shorter than myself?  We hear the words racism and sexism thrown around a lot these days but what about ageism?  Why am I, or any other student, unable to enjoy the child playground on campus?  Because our grown size may break the swings or get stuck on the slide?  Or the fact that we are taller than the monkey bars? 

Well then maybe the school should design the playground to include everyone.  Perhaps the school should build an adult sized playground.  A playground that takes all of the assets of a normal playground and builds it in proportion to the students at UNCG.  This way, when anyone is feeling nostalgic for the simpler days, they can go on the jungle gym with a friend and beat each other with sticks.  Unlike little Timmy, I would allow people of all ages to have access to this playground.  The toddlers may not be big enough to enjoy the monkey bars, they may even cry at their pitiful attempts to climb them.  I can go up to little Timmy, lower myself to his short, pathetic level, and then proceed to laugh in his face for not being able to climb like the adults.  In conclusion, I believe that the university should either open the children’s playground to students or build an adult sized playground.  In this way we students can have the option to desperately cling to our innocent former selves before entering the world of dead end careers and crippling debt.