By Jackson Cooper, Staff Writer

Published in print on Feb.11, 2015

    I’ve told many stories in my writing and in person about my trips to New York, something I do bi-monthly. I think of it as a spiritual and emotional cleanse, something to rejuvenate my spirit and clear my mind. My friends and family always want to know, why do I keep going up NY?

    There is an old folk tale I heard when I was little about a Japanese woman whose son passed away at a young age. Every day, she went back to the grave and sat, expecting that, one day, she would go and the pain would leave her. For four years she did that every single day until an elderly man gave her two seeds to plant next to her son’s grave. She planted them and went back every day to give the seeds water until the tree blossomed into a sky-high magnolia tree. Every day, when she went to water the seeds, the pain began to leave her. Getting over something was not an instant thing but something meant to be a day-to-day process.

   The thing I love about the bi-monthly trips to New York is the 10 hour bus ride with strangers. From 12 a.m. to 10 a.m. I am able to be with myself, it’s hard for most of us to find time for that. To love yourself doesn’t make you egotistical—In some ways it makes you unstoppable.

The best weekend I spent was one centered around self-love. I traveled to New York by way of the Berkshire County train the summer I spent in Massachusetts working. I had a break and decided to spend it in Long Island with my best friend Chris.

   Those four days I explored the City and Long Island, I learned about what it meant to be you and to love yourself. Chris loved himself and showed me how happy a person could be about being alive.

   What was learned was not that the ability to love ones’ self is a specific trait only found in a select few, but that everyone was capable of it.

    There’s no rush to finding it. You’re not behind if you haven’t felt it. You’re getting ready for the moment when you do.

    While on the trip, I met a woman on my way to finding the restroom at the theatre we were seeing a play at. Much in the New York way of doing things, we struck up a conversation, both walking in the direction of the bathrooms, this made our matching pace less awkward.

She told me this was her first time back in the city since she ended a seven-year relationship. My heart sank a bit.

   “I’m so sorry,” I said. “But you look great.”

   “I think of it as a process, a day at a time,” she told me. “I’m walking more and eating Chai seeds.” Before she entered her restroom, she grabbed my cheeks and looked me in the eyes. “It’s okay if it doesn’t work out. You’ve still got you,” she said before she went about her business. That was one lesson I took home after four days in New York.

   I guess I go up every two months to discover something new about the world. A change of scenery can do wonders for anyone, and I highly recommend taking frequent “cleansing” trips so that you can ruminate about life.

   I say all of this not to dampen anyone’s day, but to remind those who are in love; It’s a wonderful thing to be in love. And to those who may experience a break up this Valentine’s Day or to those who will be by themselves, you’re enough. Needing others doesn’t make you clingy. In fact, it makes you more of a person, but make sure you are able to go to bed with yourself at night.

    At the end of his life, William Henry Seward, the architect behind the Alaska Purchase said, “I have nothing to say only, ‘Love One Another.’” Maybe what he meant to say was, “make yourself worth all that life puts you through.”