By Katerina Mansour, Staff Writer

Published in print Mar. 25, 2015

Some of the most common complaints I hear from students my age are relationship issues. It seems we’re constantly being distracted by our search for a significant other, and then the work that comes with having one. I personally do not see love as being a priority whilst in college, mostly because the likelihood of finding “the one” is minute, and spending so much energy trying to find them is likely to harm your college career.

I constantly hear both male and female students complain about being alone and about how allegedly difficult it is to find a girlfriend or boyfriend on campus. It seems it’s all that is on their mind sometimes and it leaves me wondering why.

Why does it matter that much for you to be in a relationship, especially at this point in your life? Is your life really going to go down the gutter because you’re single for a few years? Shouldn’t you just enjoy life without constantly beating yourself up for being “alone”? I understand some people are hopeless romantics and simply want someone with whom they can share those romantic moments. However, many just don’t want to be alone, and as understandable as that can be, making life decisions based around that can be dangerous. I know many girls who simply refuse to ever remain single and thus jump into any relationship they can. I’m sure the same can be said of some men too.

As a result, they become depressed and frustrated as these relationships never work out the way they would like. Moreover, their frustrations affect their academics and their friendships as they become consumed with their unhealthy relationships.

I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching or judging, but I’d just like to say that if you recognize yourself or a friend in these descriptions you might want to do something about it. Spending your entire college career in unhappy relationships out of fear of being alone is surely not what you planned for yourself, and you are worth more than that.

I also frequently witness an odd conflict of sorts between girls who are single versus those who are in relationships. Friends will often secretly or vocally loathe their friends because of their relationships and how “in your face” they might be regarding them. While girls in relationships often call-out girls who say they’re happy to be single as liars trying to find excuses to make themselves feel better. It is not my intention to stereotype, but my experiences with these conflicts have only been with females. It’s a truly odd phenomenon in my opinion, to shame others based on their relationship status or their feelings toward it. Many of us are happy to be single, while many are also happy to be in relationships. We should all be happy for both parties as long as the relationship status is not detrimental to the student or their academics.

A final situation I notice a lot is when people in relationships put college aside to focus on their significant other. I personally view my education as a priority as most of us probably do. But I think that when we enter into relationships we often let them consume us both in positive and negative ways. We get distracted, we make our relationship a priority over our classes, and suddenly we’re in an unhealthy situation. This may be an unpopular opinion, but love whilst in college is simply a distraction. It can be a fun and amazing distraction, but a distraction nonetheless.

I’d really like us all to appreciate the fact that love shouldn’t be a priority in college. I realize that many might respond to this by saying “what if you could have met your soul mate in college and just ignored them?” or something like that. But, I personally don’t believe in soul mates, and I don’t think that we should be worrying about things like that when we’re in our early 20’s. We’ve barely figured out who we are as individuals, never mind figuring out what we want out of life. As a woman I’ve always advocated that career and opportunity should come first for those who wish to pursue them. I know far too many girls who let their relationships take them away from their dreams. When those relationships ended it was more than difficult to get back on track and make up for the time missed and the mistakes that were made. All in all, the quest for love can wait. I’m not saying don’t be in a relationship in college, but I am saying that being in one or wanting to have one should not consume you. That just isn’t healthy, and there are more important things in life right now. Being single is okay, don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. Being in a relationship can be great, but don’t let it slowly take you away from your goals.