By Rebecca Harrelson, Staff Writer

Published in print Apr. 1, 2015

This is a phrase I’ve been thinking of lately. These words are applicable to so many aspects of life. I’m a 23 year old senior (and I’ve still got a year left, fifth year seniors represent!) I’ve taken my time with school. I took a year off between my junior and senior year, and learned so many fundamental lessons during that year but also during my time in college.

One of those lessons is to put out the kind of energy you want to receive.  We all have friends that come and go, that is a part of life, but what we do have control over is the kind of friends we keep while it is their time in our lives.

I’ve been realizing that if you settle for what I like to call “surface friends,” you ultimately become a surface friend. Never talking about anything other than what’s in your bubble, never growing and never being held accountable for your relationships with people.

I heard a metaphor once for how nowadays people are collected like facebook friends, how you may have hundreds or thousands of friends on facebook but in real life in the day to day grind of reality can you truly love and trust them. Will they show up for you? And will they continue to show up for you?    

Not everyone is cut out for full blown friendships, and even I have multiple people I say hi to and check in with every now and then. However I think it is imperative to surround yourself with those you want to be like, those who challenge you to think differently, those who have amazing work ethics, those who are fun and kind. 

I don’t feel like I know everything, I’ve never been that you adult, the one who can’t learn anything from her peers or older generations. I think one of the most important things I have learned from my life and those around me is to not put up with people not being trustworthy, compassionate, loving, and uplifting.

You can’t go about this world solo; you need a support group of sorts. And not only does this phrase apply to the people I choose to have in my life. But also the work I do.

I am a writer. I am a poet. And I am a dirt poor college student. I get paid for writing in The Carolinian, and I have paying prospects for journalism jobs (fingers crossed) but I am also fully committed to my freelance work. I go listen to bands, I snap pictures, I interview people in the community and learn about new places to hangout.

My social group has doubled, and not only has it doubled but it has gotten stronger. Regardless of if I get paid to go to these shows, or write these articles, it’s something that is fulfilling in vast other ways.

I’m not using this as a piece to show how great my friends are (they are though) or how hectic life can be, I’m using this piece to say be sure every move you make in life has a sincere purpose, from choosing those who surround you, to the work you do in your life.

I hate not having money, but what I fear more is feeling alone when surrounded by people I call my friends. Or feeling like the career path I’m on is just to pay the bills. No one should ever feel as though they have no say in who and what they do with their life. As Chuck Palahniuk once said,  “The first step – especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money – the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.”