Best of UNCG Confessions

By Catie Byrne, Staff Writer

Published in print Mar. 4, 2015

If you’re like me, and a large portion of UNCG students, you’ve liked the Facebook page UNCG Confessions 2.0. Also like me, you’re probably tired of the racist, homophobic, transphobic, Islamophobic, anti-feminist and rape apologist posts.

Why has a confessions page become a battleground for political debates, anti-social justice grandstanding and a generally hostile area in which many confessions literally threaten or facilitate threats of the existence of racial, religious, sexual and gender minorities?

It would be easy to blame the Page Administrator for allowing contentious or offensive confessions to exist in the first place, but who is writing this garbage, and why has the landscape of the page itself become increasingly hateful and aggressive?

I will say that occasionally, the page isn’t awful and people actually do post uplifting messages, comment responses or actual confessions, but these have become a rare occurrence.

Is the only reason to follow the page at this point to see intelligent posters deconstruct this hate?

I would like to give kudos for the consistent commenters who put these offensive confessions in their place, but that doesn’t change the fact that the makeup of the page now is essentially offensive troll-bait. It seems the actually juicy, interesting or funny confessions have transferred to Yik Yak.

So, in the face of the prevalent nastiness the page has become, I’d like to highlight confessions that were funny or generally light-hearted.

If you’re wondering, yes, I literally just scrolled through 4519 sad, unfunny or offensive confessions. Most of these are rather recent, simplistic and probably existed as a tumblr post recopied onto the confession page, but they still shine a better light on what the page could be rather than the unfortunate state confessions have become.

#6474: “I can’t wait to be a goth dad”

#6415: “How did the Nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall. I hate myself”

#6408: “The bottom of my Macbook is probably one of the causes for global warming”

#6405: “Just got “hentai” tattooed on my lower back!! it’s Japanese for love :)”

#6390: “Hi, I’m auditioning for the roles of the USA and the USSR from the Cold War,    

and I’ll be singing “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better’”

#6342: “Fun fact: I have been stuck in a corn maze since October.”

#6322: “Now I’m no heterophobe, but in a hetero relationship, like… which one’s the man    

and which one’s the other man?”

#6047: “When the kush so loud it wake the skeleton army”

#4613: “I love how professors take a year to put grades up. I mean does it really take that      long? (That’s what she said)”

#94: “Sometimes I like to suspend from the elevator ceiling and pretend I’m a light bulb.”

Categories: Catie Byrne, Features

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