Lauren Cherry
    Copy Editor

In honor of our Greatest Threats issue, I feel it is my duty to inform our readers of what I think are the greatest threats to fashion — and also my sanity.

Now, I have my own fashion skeletons that I would like to forget, so if you identify with something on this list, I can assure you that you are not alone. And before you get upset about how judgmental I’m about to be, please remember that this is all in fun and I don’t actually care all that much about what you wear.

In fact, I will applaud anyone who so daringly chooses to adapt any weird fashion trend because you are risking criticism from people like me. By all means, please go wear whatever you want because I most certainly am going to do the same without regard for what people may think. Cotton candy-colored yarn braids anyone?

I’m going to start with waist-trainers — or, as I like to call them, modern-day torture chambers. I don’t think that many college students are actually using these in real life, but I still feel the need to remind everyone that these are the same life-threatening corsets from the 1500s. They were outlawed for good reason, people, including but not limiting to: organ shifting, rib crushing and/or breaking and users passing out from lack of oxygen, according to USA Today. Aside from the laundry list of health risks, they don’t work! They have to be worn for 10 hours a day to even show a short-term benefit. Personally, that doesn’t seem worth the health risk but, hey, who needs oxygen to live, right?

Let’s move on to denim. I can’t even believe I’m still having to talk about this, but overly ripped jeans just have to go. I don’t mind slightly worn-in looking jeans, but if your jeans are made with the same amount of fabric it takes to make shorts, then why not just wear shorts? Not only is it just common sense, but it makes more economic sense.

On the same subject of nonsensical denim are half buttoned overalls. I just don’t understand the purpose. I love 90’s trends too, but do you still see Will Smith sporting that look from his Fresh Prince days? No. He has moved on and so should we.

I suppose I should mention the whole ugly shoe problem. I probably shouldn’t address UGG boots because I know it won’t solve the problem, but I just don’t understand the concept of spending outrageous amounts of money on what appear to be house shoes. Oh right, I’m in the South so slippers, right? Crocs are cute on old people, toddlers and no one in between. I’m not the biggest fan of Birkenstocks but, when styled properly, I’ll take them over UGGs and Crocs any day.

What is most threatening to fashion and my sanity is the use of the physical features of minorities as fashion statements. Tanning to the point of having to change your foundation more than a few shades is really overdoing it. To restore my faith in the future of the human race’s survival, I’m going to assume that frequent tanners are smart enough to consider the health risks of tanning beds and opt for spray tans.

With that assumption in mind, the only threat here — and by far the greatest — is that caucasians who over tan are choosing to be black or brown when it’s convenient. This is a slap in the face to the brown-skinned individuals who have been discriminated against, misrepresented and just plain disrespected based on the shade of their skin.

The last thing I need is someone buying up my makeup that is hard enough for me to find year round to use for a few months, which brings me to my next threat: the makeup industry’s disregard for non-white individuals when creating and stocking products. The makeup industry has made strides in the availability of makeup for people of color — as can be seen in seeing any black actors’ mostly ghostly foundation before the 2000s. Yikes. However, there are still improvements to be made in the availability of these products in stores because what good is it to have diverse makeup shades if they aren’t deemed important enough to carry in every store.

On the subject of minority features as a trend are — I’m cringing as I type this — “Kylie Jenner lips.” I put that in quotation marks because everyone knows they are not her lips, they are my lips artificially appropriated with injections and a serious abuse of lip liner. Seriously, do you really think that I can’t see your lip liner going way past the line of your lips? Who are you fooling, really? I SEE YOU. Stop it and stop it now. Live with and love the features you have because to do otherwise is a threat not only to your own health, self-image and self-esteem, but to anyone who may be looking to you as a role model.