Co-Written By Patrick O’Connell and Gordon Cathcart
When one thinks of Greensboro, they think of pizza. That’s why Tate Street has five pizza restaurants on the same block. Our lack of culinary diversity has given us little choice of what to eat on Tate Street. With that there is also a great deal of competition. That’s why it’s important we define which of our pizza restaurants are which Game of Thrones characters. Spoilers ahead, of course.
I think the first and most obvious one is Slices being Jon Snow. He’s the peoples champion: lost in a world of violence, doing what he believes is best for everyone and looking good doing it. He doesn’t play by the same cut-throat rules as the others. Slices fights for honor and serves up righteously good pizza at a fair price.
New and already tired. Playing the game fair and square but never missing a chance to take what they think is rightfully theirs. Part of a long line of places just like it. I’m talking about Cottage Inn as Stannis Baratheon. We all know about it and respect it as the big chain- the place you’d take your parents to. However, I’ve sure as hell never been there and I don’t know if you have either. Also their pizza is stupid hot and Stannis worships a fire god.
Well-read and bombastic, New York Pizza takes the spot as Tyrion Lannister, or at least season one Tyrion. One doesn’t necessarily go to New York Pizza for the pizza. No no, people go there for the late night shows and chain smoking on the street corner. New York Pizza is more of a venue than a restaurant and to their benefit no less. NYP is underestimated, just as Tyrion is, but surprises everyone by excelling in something nobody else can figure out: attracting a crowd.
Of all the pizza places on Tate Street, the one people think of as the choice for three a.m. after parties, Manhattan Subs proves itself to be an unexpected hero. While it may not be the first choice for many, it is almost always reliable and effective like Bronn, the sellsword. Manhattan Subs and Bronn both serve up in ways that one wouldn’t anticipate based on its looks. But rest assured that when you’re in a pinch, especially when you’re drunk and tired, Manhattan Subs will be open late.
Sam’s Oven and Grills is a restaurant I haven’t been to yet. I’ve just never been to this place or heard from other people who’d been there. I just remember them leaving a coupon on the door of my dorm room last year. So that’s why they’re Hot-Pie, that one kid Arya was locked up with. Remember him? One of my favorites, to be honest.
As the little pizza chefs toil away to earn the “Iron Throne,” they ignore the true power hiding behind the scenes… The entity that grows in strength and numbers every day and will soon deliver destruction right to your front door: Domino’s. The big fish that will consume all weaker fish. While it may not be as good as any little pizza place, Domino’s offers consistency within their brand. Their numbers overpower any other pizza place. Domino’s is, at the end of the day, the Night King. Now go out and support your local pizza restaurants before the corporate giants kill us all in the winter. Cue Game of Thrones theme.