Crystal Thompson, Features Editor

When Saint James First Baptist Church in Troutman, NC, needed a guest speaker for their event at Tanglewood Park, ten-year-old Rilynn Harper didn’t hesitate to volunteer. She had an important message to share with everyone, no matter their demographics: “Be kind! Put yourself in other people’s shoes,” she said, sitting criss-crossed. 

This is just one of the many tips she has for those being bullied and bullies alike. It’s unfortunate that this guiding principle stems from the personal experiences Harper has had with being bullied herself. And she isn’t the only victim. Millions of parents put faith in teachers, principals, and other school officials to teach, guide, and protect their little ones when seeing them off to school every morning. So when a child returns home and expresses they’re being bullied, it hurts, and that trust is destroyed. Harper has been on a crusade to speak directly to those individuals, parents, and school attendants. 

Harper doesn’t just have a message; she wants to educate everyone who will listen. “It’s important to first talk about it all,” she said, needing little to no prompting to speak her mind. “It’s difficult because you have to tell someone, but you also don’t want to make it worse. You don’t want to make the situation worse.” With that, she let it be known that you can fight back without using fists, foul language, or anger. In fact, Harper has created and relied on a tested guide to managing bullying. 

First, Harper reiterates the importance of telling someone. “Just go tell a teacher, parent, or another adult so that someone at least knows about it,” she said. Her belief is that, once someone else is aware of what’s going on, there is a better chance to mitigate bullying early and prevent it from occurring in the future. Next, she says that, while staying calm and not getting upset is the hardest step to take, it may be one of the most effective ways to respond to bullying. “It can be hard not to get angry or respond in that way. It will definitely make things worse for you. Step back and think about what you’re about to do, what you’re about to get into,” said Harper. 

Her third step is to support each other beyond just casual friendship. For her, this means confiding in friends and being there to help if they are ever bullied. She shares that being present with friends when they inform teachers or parents about bullying will support their efforts, even if she isn’t a witness to it. Harper said, “I think if friends know I am there for them to help see them through it and will help protect them, they’ll feel better knowing they’re not alone and have someone there for them to talk to.” 

Finally, she gives a piece of advice that makes her sound wise beyond her years, something that everyone should remember. As she closed out her speech at Tanglewood back in August, she turned the conversation around, almost completely, and echoes those same sentiments now: “You never know what someone is going through, even if they are bullying you. There’s a reason they are like that, and I want to be kind to them no matter what. If I see someone playing by themselves on the playground at school, I’ll go play with them. If I know a bully is experiencing bad stuff, I will still talk and play with them too because everybody deserves to be treated with kindness.” 

She genuinely cares about other people, their safety, and their wellbeing. This is in addition to her energy, intelligence, and desire to be an active part of her community. Imagine what that adds up to be for her speaking. Although she might be shy, she is always willing to speak to others about bullying. Her goal is to keep delivering her speech so that as many people, especially parents, as possible will listen, understand it better, and get to work preventing it. “Walk away. You don’t have to take that treatment from anyone. Pray for them and play with them. Tell your parents. Tell your teachers. Get everyone involved. Don’t stop being kind,” says Harper.