What’s the best way to die?


Flickr / Martin Hesketh

Opinions Staff

Krysten: If I could choose how I will die, I would choose being eaten by a bear in the Glacier National Park. I’ve never seen a bear in the wild, and I’ve always wanted to go to the Glacier National Park. The bear would have a nice meal, and I would die with an amazing view.

Andrew: Death by guillotine is not only fashionable and romantic (French), but also quick and (by most accounts) painless. A true classic never goes out of style.

Kaetlyn: For me, the best way to die would be to slowly decay. While it might be a little on the morbid side, I would want to decay piece by piece starting with my extremities. This way, I’d have time to reminisce. Overall, it’d be sad and morbid, but otherwise fairly peaceful.

Brianna:  I would definitely want to die by being thrown into the ocean to be eaten by sharks. The pain would only be temporary, and it would be a pretty glorious way to go out since I love sharks.

Annie: Yellowstone Supervolcano all the way. It’s bound to erupt at some point in the future and there’s almost nothing we can do to stop it, so we may as well sit back and embrace the poetic aspects of all being obliterated by nature together.

Patrick: The best way to die, I think, is nitrous oxide asphyxiation. Nitrous oxide, or laughing gas, is a partially hallucinogenic anesthetic that causes euphoria. Suffocating on nitrous oxide would be entirely painless and very enjoyable.

Nick: It’s best to die by the thing you love. Like Quint in “Jaws.” He loved sharks, after a fashion. I would prefer to die by pencil. As Cato fell on his sword, I’d choose the way of Virtue and fall on my pencil and bleed out.

Categories: Columns, Opinions


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